Reflection on the Apostles' Creed

My mom and I got to talking about the Apostles' Creed tonight on the phone, something that's recited regularly in a number of Christian communities, including by the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America (the largest Lutheran denomination in the US), of which our church in Petaluma is a part. Mom was saying that there are certain parts she just chooses to omit (something I didn't know previously), and that, for her, "this takes away from the experience" of saying the creed. BTW, a "creed" is a statement of belief. It's interesting for me to think back on how the simple fact of memorizing this creed made it all-too-easy to gloss over at times while regularly reciting it in mass. At some point in college I began omitting parts of it when I had the occasion to say it.

Apostles' Creed

1. I believe in God, the Father almighty, creator of heaven and earth.

2. I believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord.

3. He was conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit and born of the Virgin Mary.

4. He suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried.

5. He descended into hell. On the third day he rose again.

6. He ascended into heaven and is seated at the right hand of the Father.

7. He will come again to judge the living and the dead.

8. I believe in the Holy Spirit,

9. the holy catholic Church, the communion of saints,

10. the forgiveness of sins,

11. the resurrection of the body,

12. and the life everlasting.

Amen.

A little background on the Creed, compliments of the ELCA website.
"The Apostles' Creed as we now have it dates from the eighth century. But in truth its roots are in the 'Old Roman Creed,' which was used in some parts of the ancient church as early as the third century. Before the Old Roman Creed, in turn, were variations rooted in the New Testament itself. While this creed does not come from the apostles (Jesus’ followers sent to share the good news), its roots are apostolic (in keeping with the teaching of the New Testament apostles)."

I'm interested in exploring this line by line, which I've never before done. What do I really believe to be true? I'll attempt to be as clear as I can and make as much sense of this as I can. I'd love to hear from you on your interpretations of any of this (would love more historical context too, if you have it). What I think it particularly interesting about this creed is that it doesn't say anything explicitly about the divinity of Jesus or the Holy Spirit.

1. I believe in God, the Father almighty, creator of heaven and earth. Yes, I believe in the idea of a God (though I generally don't refer to God as the Father anymore, because I'm not a big fan of genderizing something that's beyond our comprehension). My notion of God is that of the creator of heaven and earth -- that is to say, creator of this earthly existence and something more than that. I don't see heaven as a place in the clouds... I don't think there's anyway for us to know for sure what heaven would be like (we only have what the teachings tell us)... but it does make sense to me that there is some continuation of our spirits after the body dies, some continued connection with something divinely larger than us.
2. I believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord. I believe in Jesus Christ, as God's metaphorical son, but not as his "only" son. I would omit only.
3. He was conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit and born of the Virgin Mary. He was conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit and born of the Virgin Mary. I do believe that we're all conceived by (come from) the same “Holy Spirit”, in the sense that I see that spirit as this larger force, which I'm calling God. I don't make the Holy Trinity distinction so much any more, though I definitely believe that Jesus was a person and also a manifestation of God. I don't feel strongly attached to the idea Mary's virgin birth of Christ -- is this a lesson that we're supposed to take literally? But insomuch as calling her "Virgin Mary" makes it perfectly clear who we're talking about, I generally feel fine with saying this.
4. He suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried. Yes, I do believe all this. Suffered greatly.
5. He descended into hell. On the third day he rose again. I'm less sure about either of these statements. I don't know that I believe that Jesus Christ, as a perfect image of God, would have descended into "hell" (I also don't believe in the satanic notion of hell in and of itself). This part confuses me. I can't say that I'm qualified to judge on which day Christ's spirit rose from his deceased body.
6. He ascended into heaven and is seated at the right hand of the Father. I don't doubt that Christ's spirit rose to join the "Father". I can even get behind the idea of Christ being at the "right-hand" of the "Father" in the metaphorical sense because only God's Manifestations, like Christ, can perfectly embody God's qualities and thus seem most likely to attain the greatest "closeness" to God.
7. He will come again to judge the living and the dead. There have always been Manifestations of God, so it makes sense to me that there will always be more. And a quality of these Manifestations seems to involve establishing a modus operandi by "judging" or discerning what is best for humanity at that point in time. I don't see "judge" in the St. Peter way of damning some people to hell and sending others to heaven. I believe we create this reality ourselves through our own experience of closeness to or distance from God.
8. I believe in the Holy Spirit, Yes, I've already covered this - I don't make a distinction between the Holy Spirit and God.
9. the holy catholic Church, the communion of saints, I believe in the holy catholic church in the true sense of the word "catholic" with a little c -- a universal church; I'm convinced by the importance of coming together to study the teachings of Christ and other Manifestations. I'm not sure what the Lutherans would mean by "communion of saints", since we don't believe in saints in the Catholic sense... but I certainly believe in the idea of a communion/unity of souls/spirits in both this life and the next realm ("heaven").
10. the forgiveness of sins, yup, "God" is great and ever-forgiving... will be interesting to explore this more philosophically at a different date. We must also forgive, ourselves and others and move past our transgressions by being willing to change.
11. the resurrection of the body, not sure how this is meant to be interpreted either. I don't think this is meant in the Hindu sense... but I believe in the idea of us all starting as part of one divine essence, being born human into this world, and then returning to that oneness... and that keeps happening over and over as new humans come into this world (as well as other critters), all part of the same oneness to begin and end (the Alpha and Omega). It would also make sense to me if it referred to the resurrection of God in the human form, a.k.a. multiple manifestations of God... similarly, I can see this as a resurrection of the body of the "church" in the sense that we have been taught at different points in time to come together to worship in different ways.
12. and the life everlasting. Yup, I believe in some infinite state of spiritual existence for which our notion of time is wholly inadequate.

Amen.

Another reason to blog, and a caution to academics

“Thinking which is not connected with increase of efficiency in action, and with learning more about ourselves and the world in which we live, has something the matter with it just as thought. And skill obtained apart from thinking is not connected with any sense of the purposes for which it is to be used. It consequently leaves a man at the mercy of his routine habits and of the authoritative control of others, who know what they are about and who are not especially scrupulous as to their means of achievement. And information severed from thoughtful action is dead, a mind-crushing load.” -John Dewey (from Democracy and Education)

In response to recent bombings...

If you, like me, find yourself wondering what you can do in times of strife around the world, when you see bombings and war and genocide in the news and don't know what you can do to help, here is some concrete advice:

"I charge you all that each one of you concentrate all the thoughts of your heart on love and unity. When a thought of war comes, oppose it by a stronger thought of peace. A thought of hatred must be destroyed by a more powerful thought of love. Thoughts of war bring destruction to all harmony, well-being, restfulness and content.
Thoughts of love are constructive of brotherhood, peace, friendship, and happiness."
-'Abdu'l-Bahá

Labels, Part 2

I’ve still got labels on the brain. Let’s take a step backward.

What is a label?
A search for the definition of the noun “label” left me generally unsatisfied, until I saw this aspect of the noun in the Oxford American Dictionary: “a classifying phrase or name applied to a person or thing, esp. one that is inaccurate or restrictive.” I would love to know the etymology of how this connotation of label has come to be.
Regardless, it is precisely this restrictive quality of most labels that explains my hesitation and unease* in applying labels to myself. In psychology labels (the DSM IV** is full of them) can be convenient for diagnosis or classification, but this convenience should always be weighed with contextual care and an understanding of the complexity of humans.

I feel that using a spiritual or religious label is much the same: any label fails to do true justice to the unknowable essence of God.


What does a label mean in a religious context?
A religious label can, I believe, hold at least three applications. Let’s consider these applications through the lens of the label “Bahá’í”.

1) Firstly, a Bahá’í could be any person who follows the teachings of Bahá’u’lláh, whether or not that person has knowledge of Bahá’u’lláh. To the extent that we all strive to hone our spiritual qualities, we are all Bahá’ís. Ironically, as Lukas recently pointed out to me, the only person who ever was really a Bahá’í, who actually managed to perfectly follow all of Bahá’u’lláh’s teachings, was his son ‘Abdu’l-Bahá. The rest of us are quite human and do our very best.
It is in this sense of the word that I see myself both as a Bahá’í (and as a Christian).

2) Secondly, a Bahá’í is a person who accepts Bahá’u’lláh as the most recent Manifestation of God, and therein recognizes his teachings. This should not involve blind acceptance, but rather independent investigation that leads to greater certainty.
For most Christians, being Christian in this sense implies accepting Jesus the Christ (Christ meaning “Anointed One”) as one and only way to God. More reflections on this detail likely to come at a later date, following further investigation on my part.

3) Thirdly, any particular religious label implies a belongingness to that particular religious community. I talked in Labels, Part 1 about my sense of belonging to the Presbyterian and Lutheran churches when I was younger. This includes acceptance of a particular doctrine: certain rituals and traditions, and, usually, a particular system of polices and governance. In my view, though this use of the label is important and can even lead to transforming communities, this seems trite when devoid of the other applications of the religious label I've already expounded.

So does any one of these applications of a religious label matter more than the others? Can we do without any of them? Of this, I am not so sure. I am most comfortably rooted in and have my biases towards the first, but am striving to move more into the spaces of the second and third applications of the Bahá'í label (while hopefully further reclaiming also the Christian label). I don't see the Christian and Bahá'í labels as being mutually exclusive. I also feel that I can only arrive at these latter two versions of labeling myself by more fully embodying the first (along with continued investigation). There are so many writings and I have so much to learn! I want to be as cognizant of these labels as possible before using them for myself. But, I trust, that at some point all of this will become clearer.

More musings on labels are likely to show up again at some point in the future.

* How appropriate that "unease" refers to mental or spiritual discomfort.
** For criticisms of the DSM, see: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diagnostic_and_Statistical_Manual_of_Mental_Disorders#Criticism

Prayer Alignment

Today I had a totally new experience with prayer: the exquisiteness of being in complete alignment with another person in prayer. Bahá'u'lláh, the Báb, and 'Abdu'l-Bahá have given us such gems to choose from. Today I was reveling in a deep sense of gratitude, praise and abundance. When my dear friend and I came together to pray at the close of a wonderful visit, how appropriate that he should choose the same prayer I had on my lips and at my finger tips:

"All praise, O my God, be to Thee Who art the Source of all glory and majesty, of greatness and honor, of sovereignty and dominion, of loftiness and grace, of awe and power. Whomsoever Thou willest Thou causest to draw nigh unto the Most Great Ocean, and on whomsoever Thou desirest Thou conferrest the honor of recognizing Thy Most Ancient Name. Of all who are in heaven and on earth, none can withstand the operation of Thy sovereign Will. From all eternity Thou didst rule the entire creation, and Thou wilt continue for evermore to exercise Thy dominion over all created things. There is none other God but Thee, the Almighty, The Most Exalted, the All-Powerful, the All-Wise.

Illumine, O Lord, the faces of Thy servants, that they may behold Thee; and cleanse their hearts that they may turn unto the court of Thy heavenly favors, and recognize Him Who is the Manifestation of Thy Self and the Dayspring of Thine Essence. Verily, Thou art the Lord of all worlds. There is no God but Thee, the Unconstrained, the All-Subduing." -Bahá’u’lláh

And how appropriate that, in such the power of such connectedness, he should then pick a prayer that gets directly at the wondrous promise of what is to come when we trust in God's will (or call it trust that things always seem to work out as they're meant to, if you don't like the God label). I am grateful that, despite the number of doubts, dips, flips and lulls I've encountered in my spiritual journey, that I have long known this to be true based on my own personal experience: that one thing is not taken away without it being replaced by something of equal or greater value in my life, that I am only provided with tests according to my ability to grow from them, and that, with a clear and pure intention, all that I truly need always appears.

"Ordain for me, O my Lord, and for those who believe in Thee that which is deemed best for us in Thine estimation, as set forth in the Mother Book, for within the grasp of Thy hand Thou holdest the determined measures of all things.

Thy goodly gifts are unceasingly showered upon such as cherish Thy love, and the wondrous tokens of Thy heavenly bounties are amply bestowed on those who recognize Thy divine Unity. We commit unto Thy care whatsoever Thou hast destined for us, and implore Thee to grant us all the good that Thy knowledge embraceth.

Protect me, O my Lord, from every evil that Thine omniscience perceiveth, inasmuch as there is no power nor strength but in Thee, no triumph is forthcoming save from Thy presence, and it is Thine alone to command. Whatever God hath willed hath been, and that which He hath not willed shall not be.

There is no power nor strength except in God, the Most Exalted, the Most Mighty." -The Báb

While I have prayed with people in a variety of ways over the years, this is the first time I've felt so aligned with another person in prayer. I grew up in in the Christian way of praying and am more accustomed to spontaneously using my own words to talk to the Creator. I still appreciate this method of prayer and will likely use it throughout all of my days. Lately I have been thinking and talking to others about the value of the Bahá'í way of using prayers written in the enlightened words of the Faith's most recent manifestations: the Báb and Bahá'u'lláh (the same can be done with Psalms, for example). Today, I discovered in a new way the power of those divine words in not only expressing exactly what I was feeling (more adequately and eloquently than I could, too), but something even deeper in being able to share that experience with another person who spoke those prayers for me without consciously realizing how perfectly appropriate they were for us both.

How can we seek to align ourselves in prayer? I can say from my personal experience that it involves a great level of being present in the prayers being shared (which, I attest, I am not always able to achieve). Hold the focus. It involves trusting that the right prayers will arise (even if you yourself feel a little inadequate in your prayer choices, as I sometimes do, others can possibly find just the right prayer for you). And here's an experiment that just might work: if you've experienced something joyful and precious with another person, share gratitude for that experience together through prayer. If it is protection or guidance you both seek, come together with the same purity of spirit and abandonment to prayer. You, too, might be blown away by the experience.

Honesty

Of aligning my actions with my words
Of being honest with others
Of being honest with myself
Of accepting where I'm at
Of being patient
Of not ignoring my inner voice
Of coming to terms with reality and surrendering to what is
Of simplifying
Of staying clear of unnecessary drama
Of admitting I don't always know what's best
Of trusting what is meant to be
Of eschewing fears
Of raising expectations for myself, while lessening attachments
Of balancing frankness with tact
Of communicating with compassion
Of prayers and a fervent desire for certainty
Of certainty that honesty is always best.

Labels, Part 1

I have often thought about labels, their convenience and how quick some are to adopt them. I have tended to be careful to attach labels to myself. Last night I had the privilege of visiting the Bosch Baha'i School to see two of my dear college friends who were there for an intensive Ruhi workshop. We delved into a number of excellent questions about beliefs and certainty, including deep discussion of where I am at in my spiritual journey. While eating dinner a young man came up and after being introduced to me astutely asked me one question, "Are you Baha'i?" To which we all gave qualified replies... This later got us to a discussion of labels, the use of the "Baha'i" label, the "seeker" label, the "Christian" label...

When I was young, I called myself a Christian. I was cognizant of the difference between "Catholics" and "Protestants" (as many of my friends were “Catholics” and I “Protestant”) but also repeatedly found myself informing or reminding people that we were all Christians, believers in the same God and the same Christ. In elementary school I became interested in attending church, which my mother and I did sporadically, with some regularity for a couple years at a Presbyterian church, where we found an excellent minister. Then I called myself a “Presbyterian.” I went to a Presbyterian summer camp, which provided me with yearly spiritual boosts. My mother and I stopped attending this Presbyterian church when I was in junior high school following the departure of our beloved minister and our discomfort with the style of his replacement. I was still interested in attending church, so my mom and I went to a few masses at various churches around town, searching for a place that felt like "home". In high school, I had a piano recital in a local Lutheran church, and something about it felt right. So I convinced my mother to go with me. I found in the pastor of this church a wonderful spiritual teacher, one who has always thoughtfully investigated my questions with me. Having never been baptized as a child, I started doing independent study with the pastor to learn more about the Christian faith of the Lutheran bent and on December 6, 1997 (perhaps it was 1998) I became baptized as a Christian. I was now a “Lutheran.” I became highly involved in that church, in its youth group, in teaching confirmation classes, in its service trips to Baja California...

Then in college I began to question my use of the Christian label. This didn’t come entirely out of the blue. Like one of my roommates who had grown up "Christian" and had a number of doubts about the interpretations of the Christian faith, I became less comfortable seeing myself as a Christian. Perhaps this was, in part, because my mother had lived awhile in India and had a broader vision of Christianity. I never doubted the idea of a higher power, but I had greater trouble accepting that the ONLY way to God is through Jesus Christ [I am now forming new sentiments on this matter] and that all who do not recognize Christ are somehow damned to this fiery place called hell. I had trouble believing that God, who had created us different in different parts of the world, would somehow judge non-Christians. These were not new concerns for me, but ones that I began to feel more and more unsettled about the more I saw how many others interpreted and applied the use of the Christian label. To me, it made much more sense that there was this one God (or whatever you want to call it) who had revealed [Himself] in many different forms to different people across the world as best worked in different cultural contexts.

Throughout college I struggled quite a bit with these questions and had a number of excellent discussions about them with others (including with the friends I just saw last night). It was definitely more en vogue at our small liberal arts college to label oneself as "spiritual" than as part of any particular religion (I once wrote an op-ed piece on that distinction for the college paper). I found it much more comfortable and convenient to use this “spiritual” label, because I continued to maintain a strong sense of myself as a spiritual being and, for me, much of college was about getting to know myself more fully; I sought to strip away veils and get to the core of my being. Freshman year I was introduced by (L, who I saw last night) to the Baha'i Faith and discussion of the Faith ended up being how he and my roommate (A, who I also saw last night) got to know each other... she continued to investigate the Faith, but, at that time, I didn't really know where to go to learn more.

I finished college four years ago, so where does that leave me now? More to come in part 2. Stay tuned! :) Meanwhile, I welcome your thoughts, and any writings you want to share related to any of what I've just written. I'd love to hear about your journey in choosing or rejecting different labels for yourself.

Choose Your Own Beginning

A friend has been urging me to begin a blog, something I've avoided doing for years. Why a blog? Why now?

There are at least two possible beginnings to this blog, both of which can be understood through the writings of others.

One:

"O my Lord! O my Lord! This is a lamp lighted by the fire of Thy love and ablaze with the flame which is ignited in the tree of Thy mercy. O my Lord! Increase [her] enkindlement, heat and flame, with the fire which is kindled in the Sinai of Thy Manifestation. Verily, Thou art the Confirmer, the Assister, the Powerful, the Generous, the Loving." -‘Abdu’l-Bahá

This first cause for the blog, perhaps the most pure, is driven by a desire to use this public forum to clarify my thinking and further my own enlightenment by exploring questions of a spiritual nature (and surely, whatever else fascinates me at any given time). May this blog become a like lamp lighted by the fire of God's love, and may that flame only burn more brightly over time. Just as God reveled to Moses on Mount Sinai ten spiritual imperatives, I hope to explore the meaning of such spiritual qualities and through the process of exploration, hopefully, increase my ability to live by such principles. I hope to come nearer to finding the Confirmation in the Truth I seek as my lifelong journey. Though this requires my effort, it is impossible without the Assistance, Power, Generosity and divine Love of a higher source.

Two:

"Oh I know, darling, I'm indulging, but indulge me if you please." -Sandra Cisneros* (from Loose Woman: Poems).

I love the opposition of this quote to the first. In my mind, writing a blog involves a certain amount of self-indulgence. Perhaps this is why I've resisted developing a blog for so long. But this self-indulgence, particularly when coupled with the aid of others ("indulge me if you please"), can lead to deeper understanding--hopefully, both for me and some of those who choose to read and contribute to what I write. It is in consulting with others that we get closer to the Truth. In this way, I see the quotes as intertwined. For it is in some amount of indulgence in my own questions and in together (with you, dear reader) striving to construct greater meaning that spiritual growth can be attained.

* Check out Cisneros' collections of short stories, including House on Mango Street (la autora es latina; nació en Chicago y escribe principalmente en inglés, pero ocupa frases del español... hay una traducción en español del mismo libro que se llama La casa en Mango Street) and Women Hollering Creek: And Other Stores (la versión en español se llama El arroyo de la Llorona y otros cuentos). I've long been meaning to read her novel, Caramelo. If you've read it or have a copy, please let me know.