On Courtesy

This morning I was talking to dearest V and she gave me some very good relationship advice, which is to be courteous in all communications with one's partner, even if you're feeling irritable. Doing so can be a big test at times, especially when we let our egos get in the way, but if we are able to do so, we can preserve the respect and trust that should be at the foundation of our relationship. She recited part of this wonderful quote:

"O people of God! I exhort you to courtesy. Courtesy is indeed … the lord of all virtues. Blessed is he who is adorned with the mantle of Uprightness and illumined with the light of Courtesy. He who is endowed with Courtesy (or Reverence) is endowed with a great station. It is hoped that this Wronged One, and all, will attain to it, hold unto it and observe it. This is the Irrefutable Command which hath flowed from the pen of the Greatest Name."
—Bahá'u'lláh, Tablet of the World

Unity - Heaven on Earth

"This will be the paradise which is to come on earth, when all mankind will be gathered together under the tent of unity in the Kingdom of Glory."
-Abdu'l-Bahá, Paris Talks

All Equal in the End

"Behold the mighty kings upon earth, for they have all the power in the world that man can give them, and yet when death calls they must obey, even as the peasants at their gates."
-Abdu'l-Baha, Paris Talks

Thought for the Day

Stolen from D's signature line:

"A mind that has been stretched will never return to its original dimension!"
- Oliver Wendell Holmes

Reflections from the Mat

I feel grateful this evening to have a regular yoga practice.
I feel grateful this evening for my level of energy in my practice -- greater than often and even in spite of little sleep this weekend.
I feel grateful this evening for the strength of my body, and for its balance.

* * *

This evening in our practice there was a new student--new not just to the class, but to yoga. I noticed throughout the class that my thoughts were often preoccupied with wondering if he was enjoying himself, if he was developing a love for yoga. At times I felt the class too slow, too dull, and felt concerned that this might be a boring pace, that this new student would better desire more strengthening postures. When such thoughts crossed my mind, I at times felt a little dismay, thinking how unfortunate that tonight's class should be such a break from our regular routine, that surely he would like our regular classes. How repetitive it seemed tonight, at times. So many swan dives down. So much energy I expended on this silent concern for another. How often us humans do this? (or is it just me?) Surely consideration for others is good. Yet, where do we draw the line? (this one is definitely a challenge for me). While concern for others is good, I found myself observing at the end of class how much energy I'd wasted in concern. If I wanted this man to enjoy his new yoga practice, perhaps it would have been better for me to send him loving energy, to send him peace, patience and focus. After all these thoughts, I was humbled to overhear him walk up to our instructor, D, after class and tell her that he'd loved it. Om shanti shanti.

"Our hour's reflection is preferable to seventy years of pious worship." -Bahá'u'lláh

Teddy's Thoughts on Education

Another passage from "Teddy" by J.D. Salinger (see previous post):

"What would you do if you could change the educational system?" [Nicholson] asked ambiguously. "Ever think about that at all?"
...
"Well...I'm not too sure what I'd do," Teddy said. " I know I'm pretty sure I wouldn't start with the things schools usually start with." He folded his arms, and reflected briefly. "I think I'd first just assemble all children together and show them how to meditate. I'd try to show them how to find out who they are, not just what their names are and things like that ... I guess, I even before that, I'd get them to empty out everything their parents and everybody ever told them. I mean even if their parents just told them an elephant's big, I'd make them empty that out. An elephant's only big when it's next to something else--a dog or a lady, for example." Teddy thought another moment. "I wouldn't even tell them an elephant has a trunk. I might show them an elephant, if I had one handy, but I'd let them just walk up to the elephant not knowing more about it than the elephant knew about them. The same thing with grass and other things. I wouldn't even tell them grass is green. Colors are only names. I mean if you tell them the grass is green, it makes them start expecting the grass to look a certain way--your way--instead of some other way that may be just as good, and maybe much better...I don't know."

"There's no risk you'd be raising a little generation of ignoramuses?"

"Why? They wouldn't any more be ignoramuses than an elephant is. Or a bird is. Or a tree is," Teddy said. "Just because something is a certain way, instead of just behaves a certain way, doesn't mean it's an ignoramus."

"No?"

"No!" Teddy said. "Besides, if they wanted to learn all that other stuff--names and colors and things--they could do it, if they felt like it, later on when they were older. But I'd want them to begin with the real ways of look at things..."

On Love and Attachment

Last night I stayed up late to read a short story by J.D. Salinger I've been wanting to read, called "Teddy", from his book Nine Stories. It's a fascinating and philosophical, if not also dark, tale. The protagonist is a 10 year old genius boy who has Vendantic insights about the nature of things. There are many gems in his words, such as these:

"You love God, don't you?" Nicholson asked, with a little excess of quietness. "Isn't that your forte, so to speak? ..."

"Yes, sure, I love Him. But I don't love Him sentimentally. He never said anybody had to love Him sentimentally," Teddy said. "If I were God, I certainly wouldn't want people to love me sentimentally. It's too unreliable."

"You love your parents, don't you?"

"Yes, I do--very much," Teddy said, "but you want me to use that word to mean what you want it to mean--I can tell."
...
"I have a very strong affinity for them. They're my parents, I mean, and we're all part of each other's harmony and everything," Teddy said. "I want them to have a nice time while they're alive, because they like having a nice time ... But they don't love me and Booper--that's my sister--that way. ... They love their reasons for loving us almost as much as they love us, and most of the time more. It's not so good, that way."

Connecting

Tonight was bliss.

I always want to connect with people like I did with my dear friend D this evening, where conversation flows with ease and mindfulness. where you feel totally engaged and present in the moment (so much so that you can hardly stand the idea of going to the bathroom for fear that the moment will be broken -- maybe that's not a good thing, but that's how it was tonight). where the connection is genuine and open and affirming yet feels infused with opportunities for growth. where both individuals ebb and flow in the dialogue, both contributing and both taking away. where balance is present. where empathy and courtesy are present. where reason and sensitivity are present. where, when you look at your watch you're shocked at how late it has become.

Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front

Thanks to my colleague, G, who introduced me to this poem by Wendell Berry today.

Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front
-by Wendell Berry, from The Country of Marriage

Love the quick profit, the annual raise,
vacation with pay. Want more
of everything ready-made. Be afraid
to know your neighbors and to die.
And you will have a window in your head.
Not even your future will be a mystery
any more. Your mind will be punched in a card
and shut away in a little drawer.
When they want you to buy something
they will call you. When they want you
to die for profit they will let you know.

So, friends, every day do something
that won't compute. Love the Lord.
Love the world. Work for nothing.
Take all that you have and be poor.
Love someone who does not deserve it.
Denounce the government and embrace
the flag. Hope to live in that free
republic for which it stands.
Give your approval to all you cannot
understand. Praise ignorance, for what man
has not encountered he has not destroyed.

Ask the questions that have no answers.
Invest in the millenium. Plant sequoias.
Say that your main crop is the forest
that you did not plant,
that you will not live to harvest.
Say that the leaves are harvested
when they have rotted into the mold.
Call that profit. Prophesy such returns.

Put your faith in the two inches of humus
that will build under the trees
every thousand years.
Listen to carrion - put your ear
close, and hear the faint chattering
of the songs that are to come.
Expect the end of the world. Laugh.
Laughter is immeasurable. Be joyful
though you have considered all the facts.
So long as women do not go cheap
for power, please women more than men.
Ask yourself: Will this satisfy
a woman satisfied to bear a child?
Will this disturb the sleep
of a woman near to giving birth?

Go with your love to the fields.
Lie down in the shade. Rest your head
in her lap. Swear allegiance
to what is nighest your thoughts.
As soon as the generals and the politicos
can predict the motions of your mind,
lose it. Leave it as a sign
to mark the false trail, the way
you didn't go. Be like the fox
who makes more tracks than necessary,
some in the wrong direction.
Practice resurrection.

Deciding to Be Decisive

All my life I have fallen victim to my "gemini"-ness, specifically, being indecisive. But our virtue this month is decisiveness, and I'm testing out a theory I have that decisiveness is a state of mind. I'll let you know by the end of the month if this hypothesis proves to be true. As we're planning a wedding and as I'm transitioning from one role into another at my organization, there seem to be an endless number of decision points, thus plenty of opportunities to exhibit decisiveness or be challenged by it.

With respect to my work, I've been pondering this question of my next role within the organization for months. At times I've felt despair, at others frustration, and still others (more frequently) hope, constancy, trust. I also feel as though a combination of factors (a question asked at a recent presentation I gave, a conversation I overheard at our company BBQ last Thursday, prayer...) just led to greater clarity over the weekend about what I want (because I am in a unique position of being able to help define what I want). Perhaps part of the lesson of decisiveness is being patient and letting things fester until the right information comes into consciousness to bring about a compelling option and decision. With other things, like deciding on wedding registry items, one must decide to decide, otherwise the number of options becomes overwhelming.

This month I hope to have decisions on at least the following:
- my new job at the NTC
- our wedding photographer
- our wedding caterer (although in reality we already have appointments with caterers in August too)