Happy Ayyam-i-Ha!

"My God, my Fire and my Light! The days which Thou hast named the Ayyám-i-Há¹ in Thy Book have begun, O Thou Who art the King of names, and the Fast which Thy most exalted Pen hath enjoined unto all who are in the kingdom of Thy creation to observe is approaching. I entreat Thee, O my Lord, by these days and by all such as have during that period clung to the cord of Thy commandments, and laid hold on the handle of Thy precepts, to grant that unto every soul may be assigned a place within the precincts of Thy court, and a seat at the revelation of the splendors of the light of Thy countenance.

These, O my Lord, are Thy servants whom no corrupt inclination hath kept back from what Thou didst send down in Thy Book. They have bowed themselves before Thy Cause, and received Thy Book with such resolve as is born of Thee, and observed what Thou hadst prescribed unto them, and chosen to follow that which had been sent down by Thee.

Thou seest, O my Lord, how they have recognized and confessed whatsoever Thou hast revealed in Thy Scriptures. Give them to drink, O my Lord, from the hands of Thy graciousness the waters of Thine eternity. Write down, then, for them the recompense ordained for him that hath immersed himself in the ocean of Thy presence, and attained unto the choice wine of Thy meeting.

I implore Thee, O Thou the King of kings and the Pitier of the downtrodden, to ordain for them the good of this world and of the world to come. Write down for them, moreover, what none of Thy creatures hath discovered, and number them with those who have circled round Thee, and who move about Thy throne in every world of Thy worlds.

Thou, truly, art the Almighty, the All-Knowing, the All-Informed."

-Bahá’u’lláh

¹The Days of Há, Intercalary Days.

Letting Go

"Regardless of the nature of each experience, always let it pass.

It may surprise you to learn that people hang on to experience by trying to analyze or understand. That just keeps the condition around by feeding it with your attention and energy. Just let it go.

If you want to move past whatever situation you are in, simply let go and then direct yourself into the kind of situation you would like to experience more."

- John Morton

What I have been thinking about lately

Thanks, N, for generating this for me.
Check out www.wordle.net

On searching and developing certitude

Thank you to my dear friend L for sharing this beautiful quote with me!

"Only when the lamp of search, of earnest striving, of longing desire, of passionate devotion, of fervid love, of rapture, and ecstasy, is kindled within the seeker's heart, and the breeze of His loving-kindness is wafted upon his soul, will the darkness of error be dispelled, the mists of doubts and misgivings be dissipated, and the lights of knowledge and certitude envelop his being."

- Baha'u'llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha'u'llah, p. 266

Happiness and Humility

Why do we hide our full happiness?
There used to be a cashier at a downtown Santa Cruz grocery store who, to the question "How are you?" would always respond "I'm the best!" This really struck me, and filled me with joy. It struck me because I rarely answer with such assertiveness about my positive feelings.

This month I've been thinking a great deal about happiness. Too often when someone asks me a question like, "How are you doing?" "How is your relationship going?" etc. I shy away from expressing the same kind of exuberance as that cashier would, even if I'm feeling truly happy and content. Why the hesitation? Why do I try to tone down my response by often using qualifiers like "pretty well"? I believe that I seek to avoid potentially giving the impression of gloating or seeming like a Pollyanna or being misinterpreted as insincere. Perhaps my reaction also arises from a desire to humble myself by avoiding any potential for giving the impression of bragging or boasting about how good my life is. These fears, obviously, stem from my own insecurities and misconceptions.

Surely most of us would probably argue that God wants us to be happy. In fact, the Bahá'í writings tell us, as we probably know from experience, that our happiness can be contagious and has the capacity to light the hearts of others. “I want you to be happy, to laugh, smile and rejoice in order that others may be made happy by you.” -Abdu'l-Bahá, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 218. Thus, we should not shirk away from expressing our joy.

In fact, Bahá'u'lláh writes in the Gleanings that we should not only be happy but express that arise to receive our portion of the "perfume of celestial glory" with complete enthusiasm, eagerness and fervor. We should joyfully receive these "sweet savors of holiness":
“Hear Me, ye mortal birds! In the Rose Garden of changeless splendor a Flower hath begun to bloom, compared to which every other flower is but a thorn, and before the brightness of Whose glory the very essence of beauty must pale and wither. Arise, therefore, and, with the whole enthusiasm of your hearts, with all the eagerness of your souls, the full fervor of your will, and the concentrated efforts of your entire being, strive to attain the paradise of His presence, and endeavor to inhale the fragrance of the incorruptible Flower, to breathe the sweet savors of holiness, and to obtain a portion of this perfume of celestial glory....”

Humility in True Happiness
The means of detaching from the fears and inhibitions I've described, which many of us may feel prevents us from fully expressing our joy--is to recognize the true source of that joy, that it does not come from us but from God. If we can do this, then there is no need for ego, or feeling the need to falsely humble oneself by not truly confessing with a wholehearted enthusiasm one's joy.
In fact, we can be extremely joyful while also being extremely humbled by God's grace in filling our lives with so much joy. We are told that the joy that comes from God is promised to be everlasting happiness--"eternal" and "unfathomable". Abdu'l-Bahá writes:

“Happiness consists of two kinds; physical and spiritual. The physical happiness is limited; its utmost duration is one day, one month, one year. It hath no result. Spiritual happiness is eternal and unfathomable. This kind of happiness appeareth in one's soul with the love of God and suffereth one to attain to the virtues and perfections of the world of humanity. Therefore, endeavor as much as thou art able in order to illuminate the lamp of thy heart by the light of love.” -Abdu'l-Bahá, Tablets of Abdu'l-Bahá v3, p. 673

The Hindu Chandogya Upanishad similarly explains the meaning of true joy:
“Where there is the Infinite, there is joy. There is no joy in the finite. Only in the Infinite, there is joy; know the nature of the Infinite.”

Which makes me think of this quote by Baha’u’llah from the Kitab-i-Aqdas:
“Let your joy be the joy born of My Most Great Name, a Name that bringeth rapture to the heart, and filleth with ecstasy the minds of all who have drawn nigh unto God.”

Ultimately, one virtue should not diminish another. Rather, as J was saying at our devotional last night, each virtue should raise up other virtues.

Virtues Twice Blest

Nikhil responded to one of my recent posts on prayer with a beautiful bit of Shakespeare from The Merchant of Venice. In this play, Shakespeare writes of mercy as being "twice blest: It blesseth him that gives and him that takes."
That got me to pondering, do all of the divine virtues produce this effect of blessing the doer and the receiver of the virtue? Certainly love does: it blesses the person who gives the love and the person who receives it. The same is true for patience, forgiveness, service, kindness...

When we think about virtues like justice and truthfulness, the equation on the surface seems to get trickier. For example, if a child breaks a plate and tells his mommy truthfully, he may get punished. Yet, in the long run, both the mother and the child benefit from the trust that is built by the child in that act of truthfulness, and in this way they are both blest by the truthfulness. My sense is that the same is true of justice, though I find it harder to unravel. Any takers?

The Inner Spaces of Force, Pure Oneness

The Wide Ocean (from Canto General)
-Pablo Neruda

Ocean, if you were to give, a measure, a ferment, a fruit
of your gifts and destructions, into my hand,
I would choose your far-off repose, your contour of steel,
your vigilant spaces of air and darkness,
and the power of your white tongue,
that shatters and overthrows columns,
breaking them down to your proper purity.

Not the final breaker, heavy with brine,
that thunders onshore, and creates
the silence of sand, that encircles the world,
but the inner spaces of force,
the naked power of the waters,
the immoveable solitude, brimming with lives.
It is Time perhaps, or the vessel filled
with all motion, pure Oneness,
that death cannot touch, the visceral green
of consuming totality.

Only a salt kiss remains of the drowned arm,
that lifts a spray: a humid scent,
of the damp flower, is left,
from the bodies of men. Your energies
form, in a trickle that is not spent,
form, in retreat into silence.

The falling wave,
arch of identity, shattering feathers,
is only spume when it clears,
and returns to its source, unconsumed.

Your whole force heads for its origin.
The husks that your load threshes,
are only the crushed, plundered, deliveries,
that your act of abundance expelled,
all those that take life from your branches.

Your form extends beyond breakers,
vibrant, and rhythmic, like the chest, cloaking
a single being, and its breathings,
that lift into the content of light,
plains raised above waves,
forming the naked surface of earth.

You fill your true self with your substance.
You overflow curve with silence.

The vessel trembles with your salt and sweetness,
the universal cavern of waters,
and nothing is lost from you, as it is
from the desolate crater, or the bay of a hill,
those empty heights, signs, scars,
guarding the wounded air.

Your petals throbbing against the Earth,
trembling your submarine harvests,
your menace thickening the smooth swell,
with pulsations and swarming of schools,
and only the thread of the net raises
the dead lightning of fish-scale,
one wounded millimeter, in the space
of your crystal completeness.

On Listening

"Let me remind you that silence is your friend always. It is certainly a constant companion. In silence is the consciousness of God.
As you open your listening, you open yourself to a greater connection in the presence of God.
So make your way not so much as one who is heard and seen. Rather, make your way as one who is listening and hearing, watching and waiting, observing as a direct witness to God's doings in the silence and invisible."
-John Morton

On Prayer and the Power of the Holy Spirit

Thanks to A for inspiring me to discover the following passage by Abdu'l-Bahá after reading her wisdom on prayer. I've bolded my favorite part. Only through the wisdom and guidance of the Holy Spirit, which we must seek through prayer and through our most earnest efforts to understand the wisdom of the divine and holy writings, can the greatest fruit be yielded.

As someone who is constantly struggling with questions like "why pray?" and "to what effect is prayer?" this passage also sheds some light.

"O thou handmaid of God! The heavenly glad tidings must be delivered with the utmost dignity and magnanimity. And until a soul ariseth with qualities which are essential for the bearer of these tidings, his words will take no effect.
O bondswoman of God! The human spirit possesseth wondrous powers, but it should be reinforced by the Holy Spirit. What thou hearest other than this is pure imagination. If, however, it be assisted by the bounty of the Holy Spirit, then will its strength be a thing to marvel at. Then will that human spirit uncover realities, and unravel mysteries. Turn thy heart fully to the Holy Spirit, and invite others to do the same; then shall ye witness wonderful results.
O handmaid of God! The stars in the sky do not exert any spiritual influence on this world of dust; but all the members and parts of the universe are very strongly linked together in that limitless space, and this connection produceth a reciprocity of material effects. Outside the bounty of the Holy Spirit, whatsoever thou hearest as to the effect of trances, or the mediums’ trumpets, conveying the singing voices of the dead, is imagination pure and simple. As to the bounty of the Holy Spirit, however, relate whatsoever thou wilt—it cannot be overstated; believe, therefore, whatsoever 161 thou hearest of this. But the persons referred to, the trumpet-people, are entirely shut out from this bounty and receive no portion thereof; their way is an illusion.
O handmaid of God! Prayers are granted through the universal Manifestations of God. Nevertheless, where the wish is to obtain material things, even where the heedless are concerned, if they supplicate, humbly imploring God’s help—even their prayer hath an effect.
O handmaid of God! Although the reality of Divinity is sanctified and boundless, the aims and needs of the creatures are restricted. God’s grace is like the rain that cometh down from heaven: the water is not bounded by the limitations of form, yet on whatever place it poureth down, it taketh on limitations—dimensions, appearance, shape—according to the characteristics of that place. In a square pool, the water, previously unconfined, becometh a square; in a six-sided pool it becometh a hexagon, in an eight-sided pool an octagon, and so forth. The rain itself hath no geometry, no limits, no form, but it taketh on one form or another, according to the restrictions of its vessel. In the same way, the Holy Essence of the Lord God is boundless, immeasurable, but His graces and splendours become finite in the creatures, because of their limitations, wherefore the prayers of given persons will receive favourable answers in certain cases. ...
O handmaid of God! The prayers which were revealed to ask for healing apply both to physical and spiritual healing. Recite them, then, to heal both the soul and the body. If healing is right for the patient, it will certainly be granted; but for some ailing persons, healing would only be the cause of other ills, and therefore wisdom doth not permit an affirmative answer to the prayer.
O handmaid of God! The power of the Holy Spirit healeth both physical and spiritual ailments. ..."
-Abdu'l-Bahá

A word to the wise teacher

"The teaching work should under all conditions be actively pursued by the believers because divine confirmations are dependent upon it. Should a Bahá’í refrain from being fully, vigorously and wholeheartedly involved in the teaching work he will undoubtedly be deprived of the blessings of the Abhá Kingdom. Even so, this activity should be tempered with wisdom—not that wisdom which requireth one to be silent and forgetful of such an obligation, but rather that which requireth one to display divine tolerance, love, kindness, patience, a goodly character, and holy deeds. In brief, encourage the friends individually to teach the Cause of God and draw their attention to this meaning of wisdom mentioned in the Writings, which is itself the essence of teaching the Faith—but all this to be done with the greatest tolerance, so that heavenly assistance and divine confirmation may aid the friends."
-'Abdu'l-Bahá

Thank you Abdu'l-Bahá! There's so much wisdom to be gleaned herein. Words cannot convey the sense of relief I felt in reading this quote, which helps to set at bay some of the struggles I have felt with the purpose of teaching and seeing how others are at times teaching the Bahá'í Faith. I particularly love the line: "Even so, this activity should be tempered with wisdom." We must not blindly teach! By God no! We must illumine and seek to perfect our own selves in the process of teaching. We must, in all times, demonstrate our faith through our deeds, particularly as we are "teaching" (or, let's call it sharing). We must not seek to try to win others over to our Faith or point of view for the sake of doing so. Nay. Rather, we must teach/share because we love the Truth and yearn to more fully discover it. We must teach/share in order to build connections with others that are based in the truest nature of all things (which, if you will, may be what some call the Holy Spirit).

I'd love to hear your thoughts about teaching...

Doing as Worship

"Work done in the spirit of service is the highest form of worship…." (“‘Abdu’l-Bahá on Divine Philosophy”, p. 78)

Lately I've been reconciling doing service and my continued spiritual growth. Principally, I have not been reading as much as I would like as I have taken on more service commitments, and feel that my faith is suffering for it.

True service must not be done out of a sense of obligation to anyone but God. Doing and reflection upon doing and the words of God must go hand in hand.

Prayer of Abandonment

More often than not, we may have no idea what God's will is for us--should I go back to grad school? should I take this class or that one? should I stick with this job or look for another? should I persevere with this relationship, take the next step, or end it completely? should I travel to do service or attend a conference that will enhance my professional growth? Some of these decisions may matter less than what we make of our choices. We are often confused about the path(s) before us, while sometimes simultaneously struggling to make sense of the path we've just traversed. This is especially true in times of change or times where we're contemplating change. Someone commented on the last post that prayer is an important means of clarifying God's will. "As long as we are able to attain a state where we admit that we, on our own, might not be able to understand God's will, but we ask for His guidance and pray for His will to be done - over time it will become clear what we need to do." Thus, I offer up the following prayer of abandonment, one I learned from Pastor Tim long ago. May you find in it the comfort it has provided me over the years.

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end.

Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following
your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.

But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you
and I hope that I have that desire in all that I am doing.

And I know that if I do this, you will lead me by the right road
although I may know nothing about it.

Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in
the shadow of death, I will not fear, for you are ever with me and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

-Thomas Merton

God's Will

How do we know what God's word is for us? This is an age-old and incredibly meaningful question for us to ponder, one I thought about quite a bit this past summer. Why is it that we interpret His Word so differently?
My mom told me this evening about a wonderful sermon by Pastor Tim at Elim Lutheran Church in Petaluma, CA gave last Sunday that addresses this very question. Enjoy.

I'd also love to hear your thoughts on this question. Another way it could be phrased is how do we know when we're following God's will? How do we know when we're doing so individually? collectively?

Reflection upon a cup of tea

I just love the way that light on a cup of tea, especially in the cold of winter, reveals the swirling of its steam. I, delightfully entranced, can stare at it for minutes, completely at peace in its graceful movement.
What if my breath had that same freedom?
What if I let my spirit rise to the light in the very same way?