Are Negative Emotions Always Bad?

In response to my last post, a very thoughtful question was posed: how do we distinguish virtues from vices? Are these so-called “vices” always bad?

Let’s start with another excerpt from Thich Nhat Hanh’s book True Love (which I’m loving and highly recommend):

"for Buddhists, we are joy, but we are also pain; we are understanding, but we are also ignorance. Meditating is not transforming oneself into a battlefield where one side is fighting another, where good fights evil.... Buddhist meditation is based on the principle of nonduality. This means that if we are mindfulness, if we are love, we are also ignorance, we are also suffering, and there is no reason to suppress anything at all" (p. 50).

Then, and here's the important part, TNH goes on to say: "When the seed of anger manifests on the level of our conscious mind, our immediate awareness, it is because the seed of anger is in the depths of our consciousness, and then we begin to suffer.... The task of the meditator is not to chase away or to suppress the energy of anger that is there but rather to invite another energy that will be able to care for the anger." (pp. 50-51).

You could take what he says here about anger and replace it with any other baser/negative emotion/vice, which I’ve also referred to as qualities of the "lower self' -- i.e. jealousy, worry, defensiveness, selfishness, etc. So the trick, as TNH tells us, seems to be to gradually replace baser emotions with stronger positive emotions/qualities of the higher self. That makes me think of a quote I love from the Baha’i writings: “when a thought of war comes, oppose it by a stronger thought of peace. A thought of hatred must be destroyed by a more powerful thought of love. Thoughts of war bring destruction to all harmony, well-being, restfulness and content. Thoughts of love are constructive of brotherhood, peace, friendship, and happiness.” –Abdu’l-Baha, Paris Talks

Now back to the original question. Is it not true that even these lower emotions serve their purpose too, e.g., that the purpose of jealousy may be self-preservation? Sure, I certainly agree with that. There is a reason behind all of our reactions. I think this is precisely why we shouldn’t judge ourselves too harshly for having such feelings… not to mention that judging ourselves ends up producing more negative emotions, thus making it harder to move forward into a more positive state of existence. So is that it? Or is there more to it?

1) The first step seems to be to recognize the root of these lower emotions and discover how they’re serving us. We often build them up as defenses and they can work to serve us for years; e.g., I may become defensive, angry and not easily accept people if a number of people have proven un-trustworthy and un-just over the years, say if I’ve been judged for the color of my skin, been abused by a parent or sexually violated by a partner. This defensiveness and anger can serve to keep me safe.

2) The next step is to recognize that, while serving their purpose, these negative emotions, ultimately, do not serve the highest good for our own personal/spiritual growth, nor for that of humanity on the whole. Defensiveness/distrust/anger would keep me from fully expressing my capacity to love, and it is certainly not constructive of peace, harmony, trust and unity.

3) Finally, I believe that at any moment we can choose to trust our own ability to construct a new reality for ourselves. At any moment we can choose to recognize and affirm “I am a loving person”, “I am a trusting person” and imbibe those realities for ourselves. This does require some faith, but I can tell you from my own experience that such affirmations really work. We may need to say them a hundred times before our hearts finally open to their truth, but when we see this genuine deeper truth and recognize that each one of us has these qualities of the higher self in some potential form within us (at least, that's what I believe), we are able to move into using these qualities and to discard our past less constructive patterns.

The Problem with Aspiring to Be Virtuous

The problem with aspiring to be increasingly virtuous is that, at times, you are bound to fail. We're all human, a.k.a. we all fail. But when we fail, we may--as we seek to deepen our moral character--end up judging ourselves for having reactions that are not-so-virtuous.

Example #1: Attachment to Blogging
In my very first post on Constant Curiosity I discussed how for years I resisted blogging. This was, in part, because I felt that blogging would lead to too much self-indulgence, not to mention increased computer time (which, given that I already sit behind a computer all day at work and generally uses the computer far-too-often, did not sound very appealing). I didn't want to get caught up in blogging, didn't want to form an attachment to needing to blog nor self-judgment about whether I'd say anything of interest. And now that I do blog another concern has arisen: that of forming attachments to whether other people comment on what I say. I may feel hurt if people don't comment on my blog. Yet, I don't want to care about these things. These are not my motivations for blogging. I blog for myself, to educate myself spiritually, to arrive at a greater understanding of truth through discourse with you all, and to, through God's grace, to be of service and potentially share something that might be illuminating to the passerby. But alas, as much as I try, at times I feel these negative attachments. And then the self-judgment may come. When it does, I wonder whether I should even blog at all? One means of lessening attachments is disposing of the source of potential attachment. Perhaps I should stop blogging if I recognize that I'm developing such attachments? But that sort of seems like a cop-out.

So how does this example relate to virtuosity? Well, as I strive to be more virtuous I recognize that it would be better for me and all concerned if I did not have such attachments. What's interesting is that because I aspire to move beyond these attachments or qualities of my lower self, I may end up suppressing and/or hiding feelings of hurt, guilt, self-doubt, distrust because I see them as not being virtuous/qualities of my higher self.

Thus, I think it can be problematic to strive to be virtuous. This self-judgment that crops up when failure arises in our path to be more virtuous is not ideal. Surely such self-doubt, and the pain and suffering we inflict upon ourselves for having these very human yet not virtuous feelings would also be undesirable. We humans are bound to fail at times.

Example #2: Jealousy
Here's another example: let's say I'm feeling jealous. Jealousy is a quality of my lower self, one that hinders unity and trust. Jealousy is not a virtue. I tend to judge myself rather harshly when I notice that I am having any feelings of jealousy. I aspire to grow beyond having any jealousy.

For you to ponder...
I wonder whether we should always communicate with those we care about when we are feeling hurt because of a reaction that comes from our lower self? Should I tell my lover if I'm feeling jealous? Or would it be better to recognize this feeling/reaction silently and focus on moving beyond it without discussing it with him? Or, going back to the 1st example, if I recognize that I'm feeling hurt that a particular person has not posted a comment on my blog in a long time and I recognize that I'm aspiring to move beyond such attachments, is it better to not say anything (potentially continuing to let it bother me in the process) or to bring it up in order to deal with the feeling and move on? Does saying something merely fan the flame that reinforces the lower self? This is something I wonder about in a great number of circumstances when my thoughts/actions/choices are less than virtuous.

Here’s my answer. I generally tend to error on the side of communication. But this communication, while open, should be also be thoughtful, not reactionary -- we should take ownership for our hurt feelings, be honest about our vulnerabilities and fears.

Ideally, I don't think that the answer is to ignore or judge ourselves for our less than virtuous moments, precisely because we should also strive to forgive ourselves, be gentle and loving with ourselves. If we get stuck in the self-judgment, it becomes much harder to grow in a positive direction. Of course, all this is easier said than done. To restore peace within yourself, you must follow the Buddha’s advice to first love yourself. Thich Nhat Hanh writes in True Love: A Practice for Awakening the Heart:

“If you are not able to take care of yourself, if you are not able to accept yourself, how could you accept another person and how could you love him or her? So it is necessary to come back to yourself in order to be able to achieve the transformation.” (p. 44)

Pride and Thanksgiving

"Pride slays thanksgiving, but an humble mind is the soil out of which thanks naturally grow. A proud man is seldom a grateful man, for he never thinks he gets as much as he deserves." -Henry Ward Beecher

The Purpose of Life

"The whole duty of man in this Day is to attain that share of the flood of grace which God poureth forth for him. Let none, therefore, consider the largeness or smallness of the receptacle. The portion of some might lie in the palm of a man's hand, the portion of others might fill a cup, and of others even a gallon-measure."

-Bahá'u'lláh, Gleanings from the Writings of Bahá'u'lláh

Is it really this simple? Yet, why is it so hard for most of us? Each one of us, according to our capacity...

Bahá'u'lláh also writes that God says, "Thy heart is My home; purify it for My descent. Thy spirit is My place of revelation; cleanse it for My manifestation."

God's Creative Word

Tonight I got back to reading Bahá'u'lláh's Teachings on Spiritual Reality when I found myself with a spare 25 minutes and was surprised by how very uplifted I felt in coming back to these readings after a couple week hiatus. I was particularly struck and moved by the following passage:

"Every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God is endowed with such potency as can instill new life into every human frame, if ye be of them that comprehend this truth. All the wondrous works ye behold in this world have been manifested through the operation of His supreme and most exalted Will, His wondrous and inflexible Purpose. Through the mere revelation of the word 'Fashioner,' issuing forth from His lips and proclaiming His attribute to mankind, such power is 142 released as can generate, through successive ages, all the manifold arts which the hands of man can produce. This, verily, is a certain truth. No sooner is this resplendent word uttered, than its animating energies, stirring within all created things, give birth to the means and instruments whereby such arts can be produced and perfected. All the wondrous achievements ye now witness are the direct consequences of the Revelation of this Name. In the days to come, ye will, verily, behold things of which ye have never heard before. Thus hath it been decreed in the Tablets of God, and none can comprehend it except them whose sight is sharp. In like manner, the moment the word expressing My attribute 'The Omniscient' issueth forth from My mouth, every created thing will, according to its capacity and limitations, be invested with the power to unfold the knowledge of the most marvelous sciences, and will be empowered to manifest them in the course of time at the bidding of Him Who is the Almighty, the All-Knowing. Know thou of a certainty that the Revelation of every other Name is accompanied by a similar manifestation of Divine power. Every single letter proceeding out of the mouth of God is indeed a mother letter, and every word uttered by Him Who is the Well Spring of Divine Revelation is a mother word, and His Tablet a Mother Tablet. Well is it with them that apprehend this truth."

-Bahá'u'lláh, Gleanings from the Writings of Bahá'u'lláh

Birthday of Bahá'u'lláh

On November 12, 1817, Bahá'u'lláh (meaning "The Glory of God" in Arabic), the founder of the Bahá'í Faith, was born in Tehrán, the capital of Persia. Bahá'ís believe Bahá'u'lláh is the most recent in the line of Messengers of God that stretches back beyond recorded time and that includes Abraham, Moses, Buddha, Krishna, Zoroaster, Christ and Muhammad. His father, Mírzá Buzurg, was a distinguished nobleman who held a high-ranking position in the court of the Persian King. Though he did not attend regular school and only received some instruction at home, from an early age Bahá'u'lláh showed signs of greatness and displayed extraordinary knowledge and wisdom. As a young man, He was offered a high position in the court of the King, but refused it because he wished instead to dedicate His time to helping the oppressed, the sick and the poor, and to champion the cause of justice.

The central theme of Bahá'u'lláh's message for humanity in this day is the oneness of the human race and the unification of a global society. This unification involves breaking down traditional barriers of race, class, creed, and nation and that will, in time, give birth to a universal civilization. Bahá'u'lláh calls us to arise to serve:

   "O wayfarer in the path of God! Take thou thy portion of the ocean of His grace, and deprive not thyself of the things that lie hidden in its depths. Be thou of them that have partaken of its treasures. A dewdrop out of this ocean would, if shed upon all that are in the heavens and on the earth, suffice to enrich them with the bounty of God, the Almighty, the All-Knowing, the All-Wise. With the hands of renunciation draw forth from its life-giving waters, and sprinkle therewith all created things, that they may be cleansed from all man-made limitations and may approach the mighty seat of God, this hallowed and resplendent Spot.

   Be not grieved if thou performest it thyself alone. Let God be all-sufficient for thee. Commune intimately with His Spirit, and be thou of the thankful. Proclaim the Cause of thy Lord unto all who are in the heavens and on the earth. Should any man respond to thy call, lay bare before him the pearls of the wisdom of the Lord, thy God, which His Spirit hath sent down unto thee, and be thou of them that truly believe. And should any one reject thine offer, turn thou away from him, and put thy trust and confidence in the Lord, thy God, the Lord of all worlds.

   By the righteousness of God! Whoso openeth his lips in this Day and maketh mention of the name of his Lord, the hosts of Divine inspiration shall descend upon him from the heaven of My name, the All-Knowing, the All-Wise. On him shall also descend the Concourse on high, each bearing aloft a chalice of pure light. Thus hath it been foreordained in the realm of God’s Revelation, by the behest of Him Who is the All-Glorious, the Most Powerful." 

-Bahá'u'lláh, Gleanings from the Writings of Bahá'u'lláh

Hearken to the Delightsome Words of His Mystic Holiness

There are always times when we may feel more or less inclined towards prayer, times when we are more or less open to the words God has revealed to us through His Manifestations. Sometimes the shadow of darkness in our lives makes it harder for us to reach for prayer; tests and trials can also have the potential to deepen our faith. For all of us, in all times, I pray that we increasingly find ways to come back to His Word and to discover greater certitude through it. For all of us, I pray the following, which was revealed to us by Bahá'u'lláh in The Hidden Words.

O MY BROTHER!
Hearken to the delightsome words of My honeyed tongue, and quaff the stream of mystic holiness from My sugar-shedding lips. Sow the seeds of My divine wisdom in the pure soil of thy heart, and water them with the water of certitude, that the hyacinths of My knowledge and wisdom may spring up fresh and green in the sacred city of thy heart.

Religion Should Not Motivate Conflict

I heard about this this morning on NPR: Pope calls for peace, end of religious strife. This story warmed my heart.
National Catholic Reporter, Dec 7, 2001, by John L. Allen, Jr.

"Asserting that 'religion must never become the motive for conflict,' Pope John Paul II has, for the third time in his pontificate, invited religious leaders from around the world to join him in Assisi to pray for peace. The gathering in Assisi, birthplace of peacemaker St. Francis, will take place Jan. 24." 

This statement rings true with the Bahá'í Faith's teaching about religion, which goes one step further: "Should it prove to be the cause of hostility, discord and the alienation of mankind, assuredly the absence of religion would be preferable." -'Abdu'l-Bahá, The Promulgation of Universal Peace

Returning to the Mat

It's amazing how a week and a half off from yoga (doctor's instructions) brought me such a renewed appreciation when I returned to the mat and to class today. Returning to the mat...

my spirit calms
my anxieties float away
my resistance subsides
I find my breath
I find my heart
I find my feet, rejoined with the earth
I find my arms, stretching to the sky
I find my drishti, soft
I find my liver, healthy
I find my spirit rising
I find balance
I find strength
I find effort
I find energy
I find vitality
I find forgiveness
I find peace
I find thankfulness
I find love.

Prayers for the Elections

With tomorrow's U.S. presidential elections in mind, I ask that we all focus our thoughts, hearts and prayers...

on hope
on establishing peace
on building unity
on eradicating racism
on preserving justice and making every person's voice justly heard
on honesty and truth
on sound and discerning judgment (amongst those voting and elected leaders)
on harmony
on prosperity
on God's mighty, perfect will

... in this great nation.

"O God, Your plans are firm, faithful and forever. The purposes of Your heart prevail through all the generations." --Psalm 33:11

"My son, preserve sound judgment and discernment, do not let them out of your sight;" --Proverbs 3:21

"O Thou kind Lord! This gathering is turning to Thee. These hearts are radiant with Thy love. These minds and spirits are exhilarated by the message of Thy glad-tidings. O God! Let this American democracy become glorious in spiritual degrees even as it has aspired to material degrees, and render this just government victorious. Confirm this revered nation to upraise the standard of the oneness of humanity, to promulgate the Most Great Peace, to become thereby most glorious and praiseworthy among all the nations of the world. O God! This American nation is worthy of Thy favors and is deserving of Thy mercy. Make it precious and near to Thee through Thy bounty and bestowal."
-‘Abdu’l-Bahá