On Love and Attachment

Last night I stayed up late to read a short story by J.D. Salinger I've been wanting to read, called "Teddy", from his book Nine Stories. It's a fascinating and philosophical, if not also dark, tale. The protagonist is a 10 year old genius boy who has Vendantic insights about the nature of things. There are many gems in his words, such as these:

"You love God, don't you?" Nicholson asked, with a little excess of quietness. "Isn't that your forte, so to speak? ..."

"Yes, sure, I love Him. But I don't love Him sentimentally. He never said anybody had to love Him sentimentally," Teddy said. "If I were God, I certainly wouldn't want people to love me sentimentally. It's too unreliable."

"You love your parents, don't you?"

"Yes, I do--very much," Teddy said, "but you want me to use that word to mean what you want it to mean--I can tell."
...
"I have a very strong affinity for them. They're my parents, I mean, and we're all part of each other's harmony and everything," Teddy said. "I want them to have a nice time while they're alive, because they like having a nice time ... But they don't love me and Booper--that's my sister--that way. ... They love their reasons for loving us almost as much as they love us, and most of the time more. It's not so good, that way."

Rediscovering My Love for a Love Poem

From Pablo Neruda's Cien Sonetos de amor (1oo Love Sonnets)

XVII

No te amo como si fueras rosa de sal, topacio I don ’t love you as if you were a rose of salt, topaz,
o flecha de claveles que propagan el fuego: or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:
te amo como se aman ciertas cosas oscuras, I love you as one loves certain obscure things,
secretamente, entre la sombra y el alma. secretly, between the shadow and the soul.

Te amo como la planta que no florece y lleva I love you as the plant that doesn’t bloom but carries
dentro de sí, escondida, la luz de aquellas flores, the light of those flowers, hidden, within itself,
y gracias a tu amor vive oscuro en mi cuerpo and thanks to your love the tight aroma that arose
el apretado aroma que ascendió de la tierra. from the earth lives dimly in my body.

Te amo sin saber como, ni cuándo, ni de donde, I love you without knowing how, or when, or
from where
te amo directamente sin problemas ni orgullo: I love you directly without problems or pride:
así te amo porque no sé amar de otra manera, I love you like this because I don’t know any other way to love,

sino así de este modo en que no soy ni eres, except in this form in which I am not nor are you,
tan cerca que tu mano sobre mi pecho es mía, so close that your hand upon my chest is mine,
tan cerca que se cierran tus ojos con mi sueño. so close that your eyes close with my dreams.

[English translation by Mark Eisner 2004, from City Lights' The Essential Neruda]

Love and Thanksgiving

In the past month I learned that an attitude of thankfulness increases the outpouring of love. I observed that I felt a greater spirit of love towards those people for whom I felt a sense of thankfulness; conversely, when judgments or other qualities of the lower self impeded my ability to be thankful for another person, loving also lacked. It goes the other way too: love seems conducive to thankfulness.

Are all virtues foundations for other virtues? Can one ever really be separated from another?

Love and Choice

O SON OF BEING!
Love Me, that I may love thee. If thou lovest Me not, My love can in no wise reach thee. Know this, O servant.
Bahá'u'lláh, The Hidden Words, from the Arabic

Last night at our Ruhi Book 3 study circle M gave a very useful metaphor that can be applied to this quote. Imagine that God's love is like rain, pouring down on all things. If we were to put up an umbrella, the rain would still be pouring down all around us, but the umbrella (like our fears and veils, which become barriers) would block us from directly receiving that love. But the love is always there should we but choose it.... which reminds me of part of a morning prayer I love:

"Thou disappointest no one who hath sought Thee, nor dost Thou keep back from Thee anyone who hath desired Thee." Bahá'u'lláh

True Love

"True love's the gift which God has given

To man alone beneath the heaven:

It is not fantasy's hot fire,

Whose wishes, soon as granted, fly;

It liveth not in fierce desire,

With dead desire it doth not die;

It is the secret sympathy,

The silver link, the silken tie,

Which heart to heart and mind to mind

In body and in soul can bind."

-Sir Walter Scott

Song of the Soul

I just discovered this poem by Kahlil Gibran, and it seems an appropriate and useful addition to my earlier posts today about love.

Song of the Soul
-Kahlil Gibran

In the depth of my soul there is
A wordless song - a song that lives
In the seed of my heart.
It refuses to melt with ink on
Parchment; it engulfs my affection
In a transparent cloak and flows,
But not upon my lips.

How can I sigh it? I fear it may
Mingle with earthly ether;
To whom shall I sing it? It dwells
In the house of my soul, in fear of
Harsh ears.

When I look into my inner eyes
I see the shadow of its shadow;
When I touch my fingertips
I feel its vibrations.

The deeds of my hands heed its
Presence as a lake must reflect
The glittering stars; my tears
Reveal it, as bright drops of dew
Reveal the secret of a withering rose.

It is a song composed by contemplation,
And published by silence,
And shunned by clamor,
And folded by truth,
And repeated by dreams,
And understood by love,
And hidden by awakening,
And sung by the soul.

It is the song of love;
What Cain or Esau could sing it?

It is more fragrant than jasmine;
What voice could enslave it?

It is heartbound, as a virgin's secret;
What string could quiver it?
Who dares unite the roar of the sea
And the singing of the nightingale?
Who dares compare the shrieking tempest
To the sigh of an infant?
Who dares speak aloud the words
Intended for the heart to speak?
What human dares sing in voice
The song of God?

The Ideal Relationship with Another Human

Clearly it is quite difficult to love other people for the sake of God rather than just for their own sake. And yet, the following poem has always moved me greatly; it paints the perfect image of what, for me, would be the ideal relationship.

The Day Sky
-Hafiz

Let us be like
Two falling stars in the day sky.

Let no one know of our sublime beauty
As we hold hands with God
And burn

Into a sacred existence that defies -
That surpasses

Every description of ecstasy
And love.

Loving One Another for the Sake of God

Lately, I have been thinking about the notion of loving another person for the sake of God, rather than for the person's sake (which will inevitably lead to discontent, given that all of us humans have faults). Here's a nice summary of this concept (thanks N):

"There are imperfections in every human being, and you will always become unhappy if ye look toward the people themselves. But if you look toward God, you will love them and be kind to them, for the world of God is the world of perfection and complete mercy. Therefore, do not look at the shortcomings of anybody; see with the sight of forgiveness." - Abdu'l Baha

This quote makes a great deal of sense. And yet, I love to love people for their own sake. People are very loveable! And loving them in this way makes absolute sense in the material reality that I know. At the same time, I understand all too well from experience that it is easy to become frustrated and discontent with people when we “look toward the people themselves.” As Leila recently aptly put it on Nikhil’s blog, “we are incapable of rising above the characteristics of the lower nature, including envy and covetousness. It is only through His assistance, and specifically, the ‘power of the breaths of the Holy Spirit’ that we are enabled to rise above them.”

I totally agree with this, but I also wonder to what extent it’s really possible for us humans to attain this credo of loving other humans for the sake of God?

This morning I read the following quote from the Hidden Words, which makes me skeptical:

"O SON OF DESIRE!
Give ear unto this: Never shall mortal eye recognize the everlasting Beauty, nor the lifeless heart delight in aught but in the withered bloom. For like seeketh like, and taketh pleasure in the company of its kind." -Baha'u'llah

Clearly the phrasing of the "mortal eye" is key and aligns perfectly with Abdu'l-Baha's quote. But if we mortal humans can never truly recognize God (the "everlasting Beauty"), shan't we humans always seek other humans ("like seeketh like") and get caught up in loving them as humans? That's not to say that we shouldn't try to love people for the sake of God, or that we shouldn’t try our very best to recognize God. Surely only good can come of both attempts.

But what does it truly mean to love another person for the sake of God? How is this different than merely loving them for their goodness and virtues while choosing to overlook their faults with patience, forgiveness, mercy, compassion, justice, and loving-kindness? Are we capable of making this distinction between material and spiritual love?

In response to recent bombings...

If you, like me, find yourself wondering what you can do in times of strife around the world, when you see bombings and war and genocide in the news and don't know what you can do to help, here is some concrete advice:

"I charge you all that each one of you concentrate all the thoughts of your heart on love and unity. When a thought of war comes, oppose it by a stronger thought of peace. A thought of hatred must be destroyed by a more powerful thought of love. Thoughts of war bring destruction to all harmony, well-being, restfulness and content.
Thoughts of love are constructive of brotherhood, peace, friendship, and happiness."
-'Abdu'l-Bahá