I feel grateful this evening for my level of energy in my practice -- greater than often and even in spite of little sleep this weekend.
I feel grateful this evening for the strength of my body, and for its balance.
* * *
This evening in our practice there was a new student--new not just to the class, but to yoga. I noticed throughout the class that my thoughts were often preoccupied with wondering if he was enjoying himself, if he was developing a love for yoga. At times I felt the class too slow, too dull, and felt concerned that this might be a boring pace, that this new student would better desire more strengthening postures. When such thoughts crossed my mind, I at times felt a little dismay, thinking how unfortunate that tonight's class should be such a break from our regular routine, that surely he would like our regular classes. How repetitive it seemed tonight, at times. So many swan dives down. So much energy I expended on this silent concern for another. How often us humans do this? (or is it just me?) Surely consideration for others is good. Yet, where do we draw the line? (this one is definitely a challenge for me). While concern for others is good, I found myself observing at the end of class how much energy I'd wasted in concern. If I wanted this man to enjoy his new yoga practice, perhaps it would have been better for me to send him loving energy, to send him peace, patience and focus. After all these thoughts, I was humbled to overhear him walk up to our instructor, D, after class and tell her that he'd loved it. Om shanti shanti.
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4 comments:
I love your reflections from the mat, dear BFF. I've often done this. In fact, frequently finding myself in cross-cultural spaces, I often wonder how, e.g., Indians will react to Western 'objects' and vice versa. Have been thinking about finding a solution to this myself... thanks for watering this seed within.
Interesting extension to reactions to "objects". I'd love to hear some examples from you some time. But what do you think dear, do this require a "solution" as you say? Is this kind of reaction potentially helpful? At what point does it cease to be helpful? (curious to hear your thoughts)
Actually, by 'objects' I meant both the animate and inanimate ones. And by 'solution' I meant an explanation that made sense. Ha ha :).
As long as the process of inquiry is instructive, as long as we're able to mine it for more insights, it is tremendously helpful, imho. It stops being helpful when we stop questioning further, or when we stop and react to fears without fully understanding them.
And of course, there is never a point getting stressed or uneasy without the process going far enough to uncover what it is that is causing that unease and how it may be addressed. At this point it ceases to be helpful, I think.
I don't know if you'll find this tautological :). It's almost an "it is helpful when it's helpful" and "it is unhelpful when it's unhelpful" kind of a response :).
like i've said to you many times before, i love how you can articulate your keen observations of every situation. i have often felt this protectiveness or concern and only recently have found a way to constructively channel that energy- by asking myself is there something concrete i can do to help what i perceive to be a problem for the other. really, there is nothing like a dialog to find out if there is a problem at all to begin with. and nothing better to find just how one can help.
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